my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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