i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
