i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
