the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
