Kiss
Puke
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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