Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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