if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Ladies don't puke and tell
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
