he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
