Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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