Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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