I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
