Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
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