i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
