Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
