yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
