So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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