in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
