I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
What a fucking waste of an outfit
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
