i just google imaged poop.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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