I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
