jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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