At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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