I feel like I'm in dance class right now
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
