I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
