I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
