i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
