I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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