Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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