I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
