This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
