Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
