She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
