His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
