I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
