dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
