I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
