You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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