Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
