Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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