omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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