Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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