yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
