yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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