I looked at my own cervix.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
