Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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