And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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