We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
