: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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