508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Still dying that you shit outside
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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