I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
